


Through the darkest times

by Mechanical_Curse



Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU, Titans (TV 2018)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Dick Grayson Needs a Hug, Hurt/Comfort, Jason Todd Needs A Hug, M/M, Season 2 spoilers, Self-Harm, Soulmates, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-07
Updated: 2020-03-07
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:48:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23053471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mechanical_Curse/pseuds/Mechanical_Curse
Summary: Spoilers for season 2Everyone leaves the Titan Tower. Dick breaks down, but discovering who is his soulmate could save him from himself.Or the AU where the name of your soulmate appear on your arm for the first time when you need it the most.
Relationships: Dick Grayson/Jason Todd, Jason Todd/Rose Wilson (past)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 326





	Through the darkest times

“Rachel, wait! I’m coming with you!”

Dick watched in silence as Gar decided to join his friend, to leave the Tower. This was what he had feared, the exact reason why he hadn’t revealed the truth about Jericho to anyone, until now. Because he believed he would end up alone once they knew what happened. That it would break their team apart.

Blood was still trickling down his nose from Hank’s punch, but that pain was nothing compared to the one that was crushing his heart. However, no matter how much it hurt, he didn’t beg them to stay. He knew he didn’t deserve it. This whole mess happened because of him, it only seemed logical that he would be the one paying for it. His friends already suffered too much for something he did.

He waited until they were all gone, then he let his tears fall. The only reason he didn’t break down sooner was because he didn’t want his friends to see him like this, to feel bad for him. Although some part of his mind whispered that they wouldn’t have shown any compassion towards him anyway, because they now hated him for what he had done. At that thought, violent sobs started shaking his whole body.

There was no one he could turn to now. He couldn’t even go back to Bruce, not after what happened to Jason when he was supposed to watch over the new Robin. There was no more team, no more family for him. It was like becoming an orphan all over again. He was back to square one, back to the circus, watching his parents fall to their death and not being able to catch them in time. And just to think that the same almost happened to Jason, twice… It made him feel sick to his stomach.

For the first time in a long, long while, he wished the strings of his trapeze had just snapped when his parents’ did. Then no one would have suffered because of him and he wouldn’t have had to go through so much pain.

Just as the thought crossed his mind, his eyes fell on a sharp kitchen knife left on the counter. He took it with trembling hands, scared by the path his mind was taking. But wouldn’t it be better for everyone if he disappeared once and for all? It was him that Deathstroke blamed for the death of his son. With Dick gone and the Titans scattered around the country, he would have no more reason to carry on his revenge. His friends would be safe.

It was the urge to protect them, even after they all abandoned him, that drove him to put the blade against his skin. For a second, he hesitated, almost dropped the knife on the floor, but then he remembered that he deserved this, for being the reason that Jericho died, that Deathstroke had wanted to kill all the Titans, that Jason got abducted and tortured.

Cutting through his own skin was easy. After all, he had experience with weapons, he just didn’t expect to use one on himself one day. The knife drew one deep, straight, red line, then blood started flowing out of it. Dick winced, but he readied himself to repeat the gesture, determined not to stop until both his arms were covered in fatal wounds.

Dick was about to slice his arm again when his soulmark started appearing. It took its roots in his injury, as if his blood served as ink. When he saw it, Dick let out a shocked gasp. At first, it was only a dark red line, almost black, sprawling on his skin, but it kept getting more complex as the seconds passed by.

Of course, Dick knew all the theory about soulmarks. Even now, he still remembered his mother explaining it all to him in a soft, gentle voice. It was commonly believed that the mark appeared when people were at their worst and needed the support of their soulmate more than ever.

After his parents died, Dick had spent hours staring at his skin, waiting for the name of his soulmate to bring him some comfort. When nothing happened, he decided that soulmates were a lie, because he couldn’t imagine ever feeling worse than when he lost his parents.

Now, he understood why his soulmark didn’t manifest itself until now. Because, despite everything he wanted to believe at the time, he wasn’t completely alone back then. Bruce and Alfred were always looking after him, concerned about what could happen to him. As much as he wanted to detach himself from Gotham and Batman, Dick couldn’t deny this truth.

But now that he truly had no one left, his soulmark was finally writing itself on his skin. It started with an elegant “J”. As stupid as it might sound, Dick found himself smiling fondly at the slightly rough curves of the letter. At the moment, it looked like the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. He let go of the knife, because there was no way he could damage something so perfect.

However, his heart missed a beat when he saw the full name of his soulmate. Jason Todd. For a second, he tried to deny it, to convince himself that it couldn’t possibly be the same Jason Todd that he barely stopped from jumping off the roof of a building just a few hours ago. After all, the writing looked so refined, way too refined to be Jason’s, right?

That was a sad excuse to keep himself from facing the truth and he knew it. After all, the patterns of some of the letters looked familiar to him, because he was taught to replicate them in the exact same way, back when he lived at the Wayne’s manor. Being able to write in an elegant manner was one of the requirements of belonging to the elite of Gotham.

In other circumstances, this would fuel Dick’s anger, reminding him once more that Bruce didn’t hesitate to replace him. But at the moment, he was too busy coming to terms with the fact that Jason was his soulmate.

He traced the mark on his arm with the tip of his fingers, his touch light, almost hesitant. It filled him with warmth and chased away the pain clinging at his heart. This also made him more aware of his open wound still leaking blood.

If he didn’t take care of it, it could leave a scar, he realized. Or worse, get infected and alter the soulmark right next to it. His chest tightened at that thought. So, to prevent it from happening, he rushed to the bathroom of the Tower to tend to his injury.

As he cleaned the wound, he reflected on what it meant, to have Jason as his soulmate. He felt sorry for him, because really, who would want to be tied to Dick for life? Again, he asked himself if Jason wouldn’t just be better off without him, if Dick shouldn’t just finish what he had started. This time, he decided against it, not because he thought that he deserved to live, but because he didn’t want to burden Jason with a dead soulmate.

What if one day, Jason found himself in a situation just as desperate as the one was Dick was currently in? And what if instead of bringing him comfort, his soulmark would just remind him that he was even more alone than he previously thought, because his soulmate was long gone? Dick wasn’t selfish enough to do this to him.

Also, Jason being his soulmate changed his perspectives on the recent events. All of a sudden, revealing the truth about Jericho’s death didn’t seem so useless. Sure, the Titans still hated him for it, but it saved Jason’s life. He saved his soulmate’s life.

By the time he finished to bandage his wound, Dick couldn’t ignore the ache in his heart anymore. A voice inside him screamed that he needed to find Jason, to protect him, to make sure he was fine. It was an urge he just couldn’t resist.

Maybe he failed at being the leader of the Titans, but he could still try to be a good soulmate.

“Fuck all of you!”

Jason slammed the door behind him. He was almost disappointed when the glass didn’t shatter just like his heart did a few minutes ago. The one good thing that happened to him lately was nothing but a lie. Rose didn’t love him. She only got close to him because it was part of Deathstroke’s plan to mess up with the Titans.

Fuck, when he got kidnapped, she certainly knew exactly what her father was doing to him. And once he was rescued, it was easy for her to dig her way into his heart, with how broken he was inside. He was so desperate to be reassured, to be loved, that he completely fell for it, hook, line and sinker.

Just to think that he told her everything about his past, that he put his whole trust in her, it made him fucking sick. His dreams of waking up every morning next to Rose, of cooking breakfast just to put a smile on her face, all that meant nothing now. Their story was just a scam, nothing more.

He bared himself to her, body and soul, and that was all he got in return. Just remembering her kisses, the way her hands caressed his naked skin, it made him itch all over. He felt dirty. Used. So when his forearm started burning with a foreign warmth, at first he believed it was only part of the general disgust that was taking over him.

When he finally decided to roll up his sleeve to see what was wrong, his feet had taken him to the beach near the villa they had stayed at for the last few days. He sat in the sand before taking a look at his aching arm.

Time stopped around him as he stared blankly at the gracious lines of the soulmark carved into his skin. A broken sob escaped him, although it sounded almost like a laugh. Which was fitting, because his life was a fucking joke.

The name was far from complete, but the first letter made him fear what it would be. An “R”. An awful, fucking “R”. If it was Rose’s name that appeared on his forearm, it would drive him mad for good, no doubt about it. Even though he wanted to believe that destiny couldn’t be that shitty, everything he had experienced so far proved him life wasn’t so kind.

The next letter, a small, simple “i” made him sigh in relief. It also brought him some sort of comfort. Rose and him weren’t meant to be, but there still was someone for him out there. Despite how fucked up he was, he had a soulmate, and hopefully, a chance at being happy with them.

Without thinking twice, he put a light kiss over his soulmark. Nobody really knew how it worked, but some people claimed that a bond existed between soulmates and that sometimes, feelings and sensations could be shared through their marks. Jason wished they could feel how much he longed to be with them. It was also mixed with a general sensation of “please, I know I’m messed up, but I hope you’ll still want me anyway.”

When his lips left his mark, his vision was blurry with tears. He rubbed his eyes, only to discover that the name of his soulmate was now complete. A name that he didn’t expect to see but that had his heart racing.

Richard Grayson.

Dick. Dick was his soulmate. A few days ago, this would have upset him, but not anymore. Not now that he knew that most of the mess at the Tower happened because of Rose. Damn, it certainly was her that drew crucifixes on Rachel’s mirror or put objects in the other Titans’ bedrooms just so he would be accused for it.

And Dick… Dick wanted to do the right thing, but he was fooled by her as well. All because Deathstroke knew that Dick would protect someone who was lonely and in danger, and decided to use it against him. Against them all.

For the first time since he left, Jason wished he had stayed with him, at the Tower. Wished he hadn’t fucked it all up, as usual. Maybe Dick was wrong about him when he said Jason didn’t attract bad things. Maybe there was really poison in him. Maybe the infection spread to Dick through Jason’s soulmate link, which would explain why he was responsible for what happened at the Tower.

He was slowly drowning in those dark thoughts when a shout distracted him.

“Jason!”

For a second, he thought his mind was playing tricks on him. Dick couldn’t possibly be here, right when he so desperately needed him. However, he had to admit it was real when the older man rushed towards him before engulfing him in a tight hug.

“I’ve finally found you. You’re not easy to track down, you know?”

His eyes lingered for a few seconds on the mark adorning Jason’s arm. From the way he looked at it, with a small smile on his face, Jason could tell that he already knew about their bond. If he acted on instincts alone, he would certainly push Dick away, just like he pushed almost everyone away to protect himself during his entire life.

But somehow, being so close to Dick felt right and he didn’t want to move. Maybe he felt this way because of their bond. However, he could tell that the link wasn’t altering or manipulating his mind in any way, but only pulling to the surface things he had kept buried deep within.

So instead of blaming Dick once more for what Deathstroke and his daughter put him through, all he said was:

“Can I see it?”

A glimpse of fear passed through Dick’s eyes at that question. Put together with the way he pulled his left arm close to his chest in a defensive gesture, Jason could tell something was wrong. However, Dick forced himself to calm down before uncovering his arm.

They both shivered when Jason caressed his soulmark in a gentle stroke. However, he couldn’t stop his eyes from being drawn to the still healing wound that marred the skin right before his mark.

“What happened?”

“Can’t you tell? You saved my life.”

It was at this moment Jason knew that what people said about bonds and soulmates were true. Because just from staring into Dick’s watery eyes, he could guess the untold truth hidden behind his words. That Dick had considered killing himself and only stopped when his soulmark appeared.

“I shouldn’t have left the tower.” Jason whispered, his voice hoarse with emotion.

“And I shouldn’t have left you in the dark about what happened five years ago. But maybe we can start over, if you want to…”

Jason smiled at that.

“Yeah, it would be nice.”

None of this happened like in the romantic comedies about soulmates that aired on TV. Jason didn’t kiss Dick passionately as if nothing else mattered in the entire universe. He was still too shaken by Rose’s betrayal for that. But Dick’s embrace felt good nonetheless and he was convinced that they could build something together, something that would make both of them better men.

Maybe Jason had a poison in him, but even if that was the case, he was pretty sure that Dick was the cure to it. Just like he was the remedy to whatever was plaguing Dick’s mind.

Together, they could make it work.


End file.
